Xanthippe
by LPphreek
Summary: Goku left his family many times through his life, but was it because he didn't care or was he afraid of his wife? And how did she take his disappearances? A look into the relationship of Goku and Chi-Chi.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor will I ever, own Dragonball Z. It belongs to Akira Toriyama.

* * *

><p>Dear Chi-Chi,<p>

I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you how hard it was for me to choose to die. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I wanted to stay alive so I could be with you and Gohan. I mean, who would ever choose to die when he has a family to be with? See, I know I'm not good with words so I don't always say it, but I really do love you, Chi.

Remember when I said I'd marry you? Okay, yeah, I thought a bride was a kind of food when I promised to marry you as a kid, but when I saw you at the World Martial Arts Tournament and I saw how upset you were that I forgot, I knew it was the right thing to do to marry you. Even if I didn't know what I was doing. Gosh, you confused me so bad. I didn't know what to think because you were really nice one minute and the next you were screaming at me so loud it made my ears hurt. And I didn't know why! You said we'd met, but you looked so different. You were taller, and prettier, and your hair was longer, and you were, well… you looked like a grown-up woman, not a kid like when I last saw you.

Anyway, I knew it was the right thing to marry you. I didn't know why, but I trusted what my heart was telling me because it never led me wrong before. I don't really know if I loved you then. Sure, you were really pretty and nice most of the time and I remember we were friends when we were younger… I guess I loved you in a way. Now I know I do, and I hate being away from you. It's really hard. I think about you a lot, and that's the reason I'm here.

I'd love to have Bulma and Master Roshi wish me back to life right now so I could see you, but I know I have to stay here and train with King Kai so I'll be ready for the saiyans. Keeping you and Gohan safe is more important than being on Earth, and I know I'll be back in a year. Dying wasn't fun, and it wasn't an easy choice to make. The only reason I let Piccolo kill me was because I knew I'd come back when someone wished for me to come back to life with the dragon balls. Course at the time I didn't think I'd be gone a whole year, but…

Well, I just wanted you to know that I didn't leave because I don't care about you. I do care a whole lot. Yeah, I know we don't always get along when it comes to things like whether Gohan should be trained in martial arts. I think he should but you want him to be a "scholar." Sounds boring to me, but I let you have your way. I always let you have your way. I don't really mind because I know you just want what's best for him. But do you always have to say things like how you want Gohan to have a good education _unlike his father_ and that he shouldn't grow up to be a muscle-bound thug _like his father_? I don't want to complain, but that kind of hurts. I know I'm not perfect, but geez! I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you and I want to be with you, but I just can't be. I'm sorry I have to be gone for a year, but it's for the best.

I guess that's all for now. Baba's getting impatient and I don't think she likes helping me write, so goodbye for now and I'll see you in a year.

Love,  
>Goku<p>

Mez finished reading the mushy letter with a disdainful snort before crumpling it up into a ball and tossing it over his shoulder into Bloody Pond. It wasn't often anything fell down from Snake Way, and the little slip of coffee-stained, blotched-up paper was rather entertaining for a minute. Apparently whoever was supposed to deliver the letter dropped it somewhere between Otherworld and the dimension of the living. Oh well, it was a bunch of nonsense anyway. Getting wished back to life, what a joke. 'Sorry, _Chi-Chi_,' he thought, 'You'll never know what this Goku fella thinks of you.'

…

Chi-Chi sneezed. She was finishing hanging the laundry to dry, a gentle autumn breeze tossing her loose strands of hair around her face. It had been only a week since she learned that in a single day she lost her family. Her son, only four years old, was kidnapped by the green monster Piccolo and no one knew where to find him. Her husband, meanwhile, was dead. Oh, she knew he was going to come back in a year when he was wished back with the dragon balls, but that didn't make his death much easier to swallow. Only a 24 year-old and already a widow. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. And she would be a widow for a whole year because Goku was busy training in Otherworld for more of those horrible saiyans. A whole year!

The young widow sighed shakily, trying to reign in the tears that threatened to fall as they welled up in her eyes. Yes, she was grieving. Her precious baby was somewhere in the world with a terrible person – training in martial arts, no less! He should be at home studying, safe from the evils of the world.

"I don't want him to grow up like his father," she mumbled sadly. "He's going to be a great scholar. We agreed on that. He needs a good education so he can be successful."

Oh, if only Goku were there! She would give him a piece of her mind, that's for sure. She felt betrayed when she learned from Krillin that he was dead, and he was going to stay dead for a whole lot longer than he needed to just so he could train! Honestly! All he ever wanted to do was train! So she knew entering their marriage that fighting was a pretty big part of his life. After all, they were officially engaged at the World Martial Arts Tournament. Wasn't that a red flag right there? Goku loved fighting. She only fought from necessity, to get what she wanted when there was no other way. And maybe it was bad luck for their marriage. Maybe their lives would be fraught with chaos and death and evil space aliens because they decided to start their marriage at the tournament, building the foundation of their relationship in fighting. It might have been better to have waited until they had a stronger relationship to get married.

Frowning, she realized how little she actually knew about her husband before they were married. It wasn't that she was having second thoughts about being married to an uneducated martial artist. Actually, without him she was made aware of just how much she loved him. It felt like her heart was ripped to shreds whenever she allowed herself to think on how he was dead. Dead. It seemed so final… even if he would come back, would he be the same man she knew before?

Her uncertainty quickly turned to anger. He'd better be the same man she married! She didn't care if he trained in Otherworld with some sort of god, he was still her husband and he'd better not forget it. And he'd better defeat those saiyans and get Gohan back so he could resume life as normal – studying. All she ever wanted was a nice, peaceful life with a big family. Now she had no family. Everything was all wrong, and it was all Goku's fault. If he hadn't died then Gohan never would have been taken away and Goku, obviously, wouldn't be dead! She wouldn't be a widow and she wouldn't be aging so fast! She was just sure she was going to have wrinkles and gray hair like an old woman by the time the year was over and she had her son and husband back home.

'Does he even think about me?' she wondered bitterly. 'I bet he's having a grand time in Otherworld. Nothing but training, that's as close to heaven as he could get! He probably doesn't think I mind him being gone for _a year_. Well, when he's revived I'm going to make sure he never does anything like this to me ever again, or he'll be sorry!'

She nodded to herself, her mind made up. Goku would never hear the end of it. He was going to be in the doghouse for a long time for this one. She never thought she would turn into a terrifying, ill-tempered, nagging wife, but given the circumstances she considered herself justified. After all, her _loving_ husband abandoned her! And he wasn't in any hurry to come back. She was hurt, and that pain was going to be turned back around on her husband as soon as he was wished back to life.


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Chi,

Sorry I didn't get a chance to see you before I left, but I had to go in a hurry. Gohan really needs my help and I didn't have time to see you. I've got to get to Namek as soon as I can. They're waiting for me and it'll take 6 days to get there. I would've liked to see you or at least tell you I'm going, but there's no time. Please don't think it's because I didn't want to say goodbye.

Don't worry about me and Gohan. I'll make sure he's okay. He'll be home soon safe and sound and then you can make him study as much as you want. I know he missed a year of school when Piccolo was training him and I was gone. You must be pretty mad, huh?

I'm sorry we had a lot of arguments while I was in the hospital. I guess you were just trying to make sure I healed and all. But Chi, you know I hate doctors and needles! Being stuck in that weird thing without being able to move was awful. I couldn't stand it. I know you'll probably be upset reading this, but I'm glad I'm out and I'm happy to be going to Namek to help Bulma and Krillin and Gohan find the dragon balls. Bulma said there's some really strong guys there and I can't wait to fight them.

I promise to be careful and I'll be home as soon as I can. Got to go now.

Love,  
>Goku<p>

The wild-haired saiyan pushed the button to send his message back to Earth for the Briefs to give to his wife and turned to go down the ladder to the lower deck of the ship. Having just finished his daily training, his stomach was growling loudly and he felt weak from hunger. Food was on the top of his priorities, so he didn't see the error message appear on the screen reading "Error – Message Not Sent. Try Again?" After a few minutes the error disappeared as the computer went into hibernation mode.

…

She was absolutely livid with him! The _least_ he could have done was _tell_ her he was going to Namek. And he could have stopped to pack some clean underwear! Sure, she was glad he was going to Namek if Gohan was in danger, but he could have at least had the decency to let her know she was losing her husband for an indefinite period of time _again_. For Kami's sake, he just got back from the dead not even a full month ago and he spent almost that entire time in the hospital recovering from his battle with the saiyan creeps. They hadn't had any quality time and she hadn't sufficiently told him off for leaving her for a whole year to train in Otherworld. See what good that did, he ended up almost getting himself killed anyway.

It seemed like he was never on her side anymore. Honestly, the way he encouraged Gohan to get out of bed to train, and even supporting his defiance when he insisted on going to Namek with that – that Bulma! And Krillin. They wouldn't be a good influence on her son, she just knew it. But Goku, oh! He thought it would be _fine_ for Gohan to travel with them across the galaxy to revive Piccolo of all people, the monster who stole her baby from her for a year to train in the wilderness doing only Kami knows what…

Her lip trembled as she suppressed a mournful sob. Did Goku hate her so much that he couldn't wait to get off the planet again? Was she so loathsome he would jump at the first opportunity he got to run away from her? No, she refused to think like that. Goku _was_ going to come back from Namek with their son (who would be safe and ready to pick up on his studies) and he would sit down and listen to every word she had to say. And boy, did she ever have a lot to say! He hadn't even heard the end of her complaints about him leaving the first time! He couldn't keep picking up and leaving at the drop of a hat like this! Or, like his misunderstanding of what a bride meant, did he think a wife was something to leave behind and ignore?

Chi-Chi could feel herself trembling with rage. Her husband and son had both up and left her for another planet, and there was no telling when they would be back. Would she have to wait another year? Longer? She hissed in pain when she cut herself as she chopped up vegetables for the soup she was cooking. Not that she had anyone to cook for. Oh no, her family was gone! She stuck her finger in her mouth as she crossed the kitchen, then held it under warm water at the sink.

"If they think I'm going to take this sitting down, they've got another thing coming," she growled. Too bad no one was there to hear her threats, complaints, and incoherent screeching. No one was there to see her throwing a tantrum fitting of a spoiled princess or wipe away the tears she shed. Nope. No one was there to care about Chi-Chi Son.

She was only making herself more frustrated as she ranted and raved in her head all the things she wanted to scream in Goku's sensitive ear. She wanted him to know just how angry she was. She wanted him to know how much it hurt to be deserted first by her son, then her husband. She barely even had them back in her life before they disappeared again! She shouldn't have to live like this, always alone. She might as well still be a widow.

With a tired groan she sat in one of the kitchen chairs, not caring that bright red drops of blood dripped from her finger to the recently scrubbed floor. "He still loves me, doesn't he?" she asked herself. "Was I too hard on him before? Maybe I shouldn't have been so mad at him. He was only doing what he had to do. That's just like Goku – saving the world at any cost."

Despite this, the aching in her heart didn't ease. She missed her husband terribly. All she wanted was for him to come home with Gohan. Maybe this time she could swallow back her anger and spare him a tongue-lashing. If it would make him stay…


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Chich,

I guess you're pretty upset with me for not coming back to Earth, huh? The dragon was going to bring me back, which would be great because then I could see you and Gohan and everybody, but I need to stay where I'm at for a while. I'm mostly better from my fight with Freeza on Namek, but I'm still healing a little bit. I didn't want you to see me like this and have you fuss over me… well, that and I'm having a lot of fun here.

The people on this planet are really great. They eat a lot and they're teaching me a new technique that's really neat. I'll show you when I get home. I know you're not into martial arts, but I still think you'll like this move. It's worth staying here a while longer, I promise! So please, please don't yell at me when I come back, okay? A year's a long time, I know, but I was dead for a year once, remember? It'll go by fast and then we can be together again. And I promise I won't leave you again. I don't like being away from you so long.

How is Gohan? Don't be too hard on him even if he is behind in schoolwork. He needs a break now and then to have some fun. I'm not saying studying isn't important, honest! Just take it easy. Hey, maybe if he studies real hard I can take him camping when I get back to Earth. I bet he'd love that. I mean, if you're okay with it, that is.

Gosh, I really hope you're not too mad at me for staying here. I didn't want to make you mad or anything. It's not that I don't _want_ to be with you. I mean, I miss your cooking (it's the best in the whole universe) and I miss…other things. Oh, I know! If I do the dishes for a week will you promise not to hit me with the frying pan when I get back to Earth? Or, hey, you can hit me, but please don't yell at me. I really don't want you to yell at me. Just give me a big hug, okay? I like hugs a lot better than yelling. And getting hit with frying pans.

Maybe I can bring you a gift from space or something. Would that make things better? I don't know what you'd like from this planet, but there's got to be something. I'll have to look around. Oh, tell everyone hi for me. I'll probably be leaving here in another month or so, and it'll take me about three months to get back to Earth in the ship I have. It's not near as fast as the one Dr. Brief built for me.

I love you and I miss you and I promise to make it up to you for staying away so long, okay?

Love,

Goku

He stared at the two-sided letter, marred with scribbles, smudges, rips, and creases. His brows furrowed as he read over it one last time to make sure he didn't forget to say anything important. Really he just wanted to appease his wife a little before returning home. He knew she would be super mad at him for staying away for a year when he could have come home much sooner. Honestly, he was afraid of her reaction. She would scream until he had a serious migraine and his ears would ring for at least a week. With a sigh he wadded up the letter for the tenth time and stuffed it in his pocket. He wanted to send it, but there was no interplanetary courier service to deliver it and there was no way to send an electronic message to his wife. Knowing his letter wouldn't reach her first, he was almost reluctant to go home and face her.

…

Rejected. It was the only way to describe the way Chi-Chi felt as she recalled the Namekian dragon telling her that her husband didn't want to be brought back to Earth but would come home later. When was later? A month? A year? A decade? She had no way of knowing. Why wouldn't he come home when given the chance, when he could save himself a flight through space? She still didn't even know where he was or what he was doing. All she knew was that he was far away and didn't _want_ to be on Earth. With her. With Gohan.

Forget forgiveness. She had thought at one time she could let Goku get away with leaving Earth again since he _was_ going to save their son from danger, but how could she forgive him for choosing to _stay_ gone when he had no reason to? She could even understand him needing to stay dead for a year to train in Otherworld for the coming of the saiyans. Sure, she hadn't been happy about it and let him know it, but at least it was a reasonable decision on his part. This wasn't. He had no reason to stay gone. He should come home and be with his family. Kami, it had been almost two years since she really had the chance to spend any quality time with him. When would she get to be with her husband again? Why didn't he want to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him? Had she done something wrong?

As much as she tried to ignore it, she couldn't deny the heartache she felt every day when she woke up alone, when she cooked for only herself and Gohan, when she had to interrupt her son's studying to help with the chores, or when she went to bed at night, alone. She wasn't worried that Goku had found some sort of alien lover or something that was keeping him from wanting to come back. He was far too naïve for anything like that. She didn't suspect adultery. But she was still hurting terribly every day she had to face his absence.

She dragged her hand down across her face as she felt another wave of hurt weighing heavily on her chest. Taking a deep breath, she bent over and finished making her bed. It was perfectly smooth with no wrinkles and fluffed pillows, but it didn't make her feel any sort of satisfaction. It only reminded her again that she was acting as a single parent. She hadn't shared her bed with anyone since before Goku died. Was it so wrong for her to want to fall asleep in the warm, strong arms of her husband? To want to be able to kiss him? Make love to him? It wasn't wrong, it was what people did when they were married! But not her. Because her husband was busy partying on some distant planet, leaving her to raise Gohan alone for an indefinite period of time.

That upset her even more than being abandoned. Gohan needed a father in his life! Right now all he had was that – that – oh, she couldn't even think it. Piccolo was _not _a father figure to her little boy! Chi-Chi's hands clenched into fists as she stomped over to the window to look outside. It was a warm day, but the sky was overcast. It would probably rain in the afternoon. She wasn't looking forward to any added dreariness in her life.

Her morning housework done, she turned away from the window and left her bedroom – the one she _used_ to share with her husband – and went to the kitchen to start lunch. She had a growing boy to feed, one who was half saiyan, and he needed brain food to help him study. It was wonderful to have Gohan back, but it didn't ease the emptiness inside that could only be filled by her husband's presence. She was only half of a whole, and she was feeling the pain of being separated from the other half for too long.

She stopped in front of the sink and leaned against the counter, not really seeing anything in front of her. Her mind was somewhere else entirely. Memories flashed through her mind of Goku playing with Gohan as a baby, Goku chopping wood, Goku pouting when she slapped his hand as he reached for a piece of food before dinner was served. Goku, Goku, Goku. His face was etched in her memory so clearly it was almost as if he were there with her at that moment. But he wasn't. He was gone, and she had no idea when he would ever be back. The only hope she had to hold on to was his promise to return eventually.

Chi-Chi wanted so badly to tell Goku how much she missed him. Would that make him come home sooner? Would he care? Did he miss her too? She would probably never know. It wasn't like him to open up about something like that. He would shrug off his long leave with that goofy grin of his and give her a hug and a peck on the cheek. Then everything would be all right again, wouldn't it? She wasn't so sure anymore. Could a hug and a kiss fix the obvious problems in their marriage? It wasn't that she didn't love him anymore – she did, much to her chagrin. It would have been so much easier to stop loving him, to not mind being separated, to even be able to entertain the thought of divorce. But she couldn't because she loved him too much. No matter what he did to hurt her, she would always welcome him back and, after screaming and throwing a tantrum, would act as if he had never done anything wrong at all. But after two years? She was afraid she would hardly know him anymore.

"I can't believe he refused to come back!" she exclaimed, no longer able to hold it inside. "Why did he leave us? Gohan needs him. _I _need him! How selfish could he possibly be? There's no reason good enough for him to abandon us like this!"

She didn't hear Gohan as he took a step into the kitchen before backing out when he heard her unkind words. She continued, "He can't keep doing this to us! He's better than this. I know he loves us, doesn't he? Even if he – he didn't love me anymore… what about Gohan? Oh, Goku, where are you? When will you come home?"

Not for the first time she started feeling anger instead of sadness. How _dare_ he leave her like this? How _dare_ he abandon his young son? She knew deep down he was a good man, but he really could make some poor choices sometimes. Would she ever be able to knock some sense into him? She hefted her frying pan in her hand as she imagined herself hitting her husband over the head with it for good measure as she lectured him about needing to stay home for Gohan's sake. Yes, she would definitely have to teach him a thing or two when he got back. Most importantly, that his family should be his top priority. If she had to scream and lecture all day and all night she would get it through his impossibly thick skull.


	4. Chapter 4

Dear C,

I don't have much time to write a letter since I'm waiting at King Yemma's place for a plane to take me and King Kai to Grand Kai's planet. Cell kind of blew King Kai's planet up when he exploded and now we're all dead.

Leaving you again was one of the hardest choices I ever made in my life, Chi, even harder than when I let Piccolo kill me. I knew this time I couldn't be brought back to life with the dragon balls. I'd be gone for good. I guess that's not entirely true. I could've been brought back somehow, but I knew it was the right choice to stay here in Otherworld. You'll never know how much I miss you and want to see you. I want to be on Earth and see Gohan growing up, but this is for the best. I'm the reason the Earth's had so much trouble. Without me there, you'll all be safer. And now Gohan is even stronger than me, so if anything else comes, he'll be able to save Earth.

I know, I know. You don't want him fighting. I can still hardly believe you let him train with me and Piccolo for three years. Yeah, you still made him study, but you let him spend most of his time training. And you let him go to the Cell Games. Chi, I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you watching him on TV getting hurt. I don't know if you'll ever forgive me for putting him in that situation. I wouldn't blame you if you don't.

Please never forget how much I love you. I know you didn't like me leaving you before when I died the first time and when I went away to Namek and didn't come back right away. I know I hurt you (you made that clear) but I'm not doing this to hurt you. I don't want you to be sad that I'm gone. I'll be watching over you and Gohan, I promise. No matter how long it's been I won't forget you and I'll probably never stop missing you.

I'm sorry I had to leave you like this. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. I didn't think I'd die, so I didn't think to tell you before I left to fight Cell. I know we had some fights and we didn't always get along the past couple years. Maybe you were just worried about me and Gohan because of what Trunks told us about the androids. I'm sorry I couldn't be a better husband. I had a hard time even getting my driver's license. I know how mad you were about that. I didn't think you were being fair forcing me to take that class, but I did it anyway because you wanted me to. Well, I'm not going to think about the bad times. I'll only remember the good times we had, when you weren't hitting me with your frying pan or mad at me for something.

I don't know how hard it'll be without me. Maybe you'll be better off in a way. Without me getting in the way Gohan'll be able to study more like you want. But let him go camping sometimes, okay? And maybe let him keep training a little, just so he doesn't forget how to fight. I'm so proud of how strong he's gotten. Tell him that for me, okay? I wish I could tell you all this in person, but I can't leave Otherworld. If I could I would. I'd give anything to see you.

Don't be sad, and please don't be mad at me for choosing to stay here. I only did it because I want you to be safe, and this was the best way I knew how to protect you. Maybe we'll see each other again someday. I hope so. And I hope you'll want to see me too. Even if it's just so you can tell me how mad you are at me for dying again.

I should have told you when I was alive how much I love you so you'll never forget. But I didn't and I'm sorry. Well, I have to go now. King Kai is waiting for me to get on the plane.

With love,  
>Goku<p>

The recently deceased saiyan handed the folded up letter to the blue ogre and hastily explained that he wanted it delivered to his wife, who was still alive on Earth. He pushed it into the ogre's hand and jumped into the plane that would take him to Grand Kai and his next great adventure. He hoped this letter would actually reach his wife. It seemed every time he wrote one to her it somehow didn't make it to her. But, unfortunately, the ogre he handed the letter to had no way of sending it to another dimension with any chance of it getting to its intended destination.

…

It took days, weeks for the shock to wear off. And when it did, Chi-Chi almost wished it would come back so she could go back to the numbness that dulled her pain. She thought sardonically that she should be an expert at grieving by then, but that didn't lighten her mood any. Rather, it made her even more depressed. Oh, she knew Goku didn't want her to be sad that he was gone, permanently dead this time. Gohan relayed his message as soon as he got home after wishing everyone who that stupid android killed - except her husband.

For the sake of her son she tried to hide her dejection, to sound upbeat when she spoke and move with a liveliness she didn't feel. She hounded him to continue his studies though she hardly cared anymore; in a way she wanted him to forget her desire for him to become a scholar and instead practice martial arts. That way, he would be honoring his father's death. He would be living the way Goku had wanted him to live. But no, she couldn't let her son throw away his entire future simply because her husband made the foolish decision to stay dead when he had the chance to be revived. She could see Gohan was hurting too, grieving in his own way. He hid it well, but he couldn't conceal it from his mother. His pain only made hers worse, turning it into rage as she considered her husband's stupidity, his selfishness, his ridiculous notion of right and wrong and wanting to keep the world safe.

Forget the world! It could go to hell for all she cared. All she wanted was to have her husband back. Why did he keep leaving his family like this? Why, why? When she asked him this question before, he assured her it wasn't because he didn't want to be with her. He told her he didn't like being away from her and Gohan. He told her he would never leave them again. She was naïve to believe him. Goku would never change. Selfish, selfless, she couldn't even figure out what he was. Selfish in wanting to stay in Otherworld to have his fun and train. Selfless in wanting to stay dead so he would stop acting as a magnet for trouble. How could he be both at the same time? It was confusing and infuriating and in the end she decided she didn't care which he was. Either way, she was mad at him for leaving, filled with sorrow that he was gone forever.

They had only been married 11 years, and of those years, Goku was gone for over two. This was the second time she was widowed, by the same man no less. It wasn't natural. She wouldn't give up the years she had with him since his first death for the world, but she felt a stinging bitterness about being his widow twice. Maybe bringing him back to life with magic cursed him and that was why he died again only a few short years later. It didn't matter what the reason was. All she knew was her husband was dead again, and he wasn't coming back. Ever.

Gone when she needed him the most. Did he know she was pregnant when he died? Probably not. Had he known, would it have made a difference in his decision to remain dead? Would he have chosen to come back and be a father to his two children instead of playing around in Otherworld? She liked to think so. She wanted to believe he would have come back, if only to see his second child be born. To help raise him or her. Sadly, she knew better. He still would have stayed dead. He still would have thought it was better for the world. Damn it, always putting the world before his own family! What was wrong with him?

Did he realize when he died he took a part of her with him? They were connected, bonded in a way that exceeded understanding. She could feel his death in her heart, leaving a gaping hole that would never be filled again. No one else could take his place even if she _did_ ever decide to remarry. Goku was the only man she would ever love. They were soul-mates. He was dead. Gone. Forever. By his choice. Was it any different than him committing suicide? In the end the result was the same. He was dead. She was left to live as a single mother, struggling to get by financially, relying on her father for support when her husband should have been there to help. It was shameful, humiliating. She was far too proud to move back in with her father, but how could she support herself and two demi-saiyan children? How could she afford a proper education for them when she could hardly provide them enough food to sate their inhuman hunger?

Hopelessness and despair were not foreign to her. All she wanted since she was a little girl was to get married, raise a family, have a good life of peace and comfort. Instead all she had was grief and poverty. Two children and a dead husband. She was only 30 years old. She shouldn't have such tiresome burdens.

Chi-Chi wiped away the tears that rolled down her cheeks. Her husband was never coming back to her. She just couldn't wrap her mind around it. Every day she went about her housework she expected him to walk in the door with a cheerful wave and his beaming smile, returning from an extended training journey. He would pull her into her arms and kiss her, then ask if there was any food. He would rush into the kitchen and wolf down everything edible before she even made it to the kitchen. And then he would burp, thank her for the delicious meal, and go find Gohan to play for a while, giving him a much-needed break from his studies.

Never again. He would never walk through that door again. He would never sit at the kitchen table again. Never eat her cooking again. Never play with his son. Never see his second child. Never. Never. She would never feel his warm embrace or kiss his lips constantly turned up in a smile. Never feel his fingers running through her hair, never hear his contagious laughter. How could he think this was good? How could he think it was right?

She gave up on being angry with him long ago. She didn't want to dishonor him in death. He made the choice he thought was best. Though she disagreed wholeheartedly, there was no changing his decision now. He was really, truly gone. She was left to go on living, struggling to support her family, trying to get her eldest into a good school, hoping to be able to raise her youngest without a father in the house. Kami, she hoped it would be a girl. She would know what to do with a girl. She always depended on Goku to help her with Gohan when she was at a loss for what to do when he was growing.

Chi-Chi opened the door to Gohan's room a few inches, enough to peek in and make sure he was still studying. He was sitting at his desk in front of the window, the sunlight shining on his jet black hair. So like his father's, spiky and uncontrollable. He reminded her so much of Goku it sometimes hurt to look at him. She hoped he couldn't tell. He was leaning over a book, his cheek propped on the palm of his hand. She knew he wasn't reading. He was looking out the window, probably thinking about his father. Wishing he were alive. Wishing… always wishing. Silently she closed the door and went outside to tend the little garden she had planted that spring. Goku and Gohan had helped her. It was a painful reminder that just a few months ago her husband was alive, he was with her, he promised never to leave her ever again.

Liar. He was nothing but a dirty liar!

She scowled as she kneeled and started ripping the weeds out of the ground with unnecessary force. She clawed at the ground until her fingernails were chipped and broken, dirt caked under them. Why was he gone? Why? She couldn't stop asking herself how he could do this to her. Why did he hate her so much? Why would he leave her like this? Why would he leave his son? His unborn child? Her vision blurred as her deep brown eyes filled with tears that soon spilled over her cheeks and dripped to the ground. Breathing ragged, she furiously pounded the ground and choked back a sob. How easy it would have been to cry, to wail and mourn and grieve for her lost husband. But she couldn't. She had to stay strong for Gohan. She couldn't let him know how upset she was, and if she cried aloud he would hear her. He would know.

"Why did you do this to us?" she hissed, wiping her tears away, leaving smudges of dirt on her face. "What were you thinking? _Were_ you thinking?"

The poor widow could have screamed. She would have been justified. She had every right to be upset. Angry. Hurt. She ripped more weeds from the earth and threw them as far away as they could, but her outburst brought her no satisfaction. How much better it would have been if she could slap Goku's grinning face! If she could give him a good shove, whack his head with her frying pan, deny him dinner, make him sleep outside in the cold, kick his shin, anything! She wanted to hurt him in a way he could understand. Hurt him like he hurt her.

The tears continued to fall as she finished weeding the small garden. There wasn't even a grave for her to spit on or yell at. Nope, her husband didn't just die, he died in Otherworld. There was no body left behind. Nothing for her to remember him by. Nothing. Nothing. Dead. Gone. Forever. She would never understand how he could do this. She would never forgive him. Not this time. This was just too much. Rage filled her heart as she tried to push thoughts of her late husband away. He wasn't coming back. She had to move on.

But Kami, she missed him. She would never stop missing him. Because she loved him. No matter how angry she was, she would never stop loving him, and that was why she would never stop hurting.


	5. Chapter 5

To Chich,

I'm just writing to let you know that I'm not going to be gone forever, I promise. I don't know if you'll understand why I had to do this, but I'm not going to be on Earth forever. It's going to need a new protector when I'm gone, and I think Uub can be that. He's even stronger than Vegeta, Gohan, Goten, and Trunks. He might even be stronger than me once he's trained. The Earth needs someone like him to protect it, and the only way for him to get strong enough to take over when I'm gone is to have me train him. Plus I'm really excited about training him! I can tell already he's going to be a great challenge.

I might visit you sometimes, but I think I should stay with Uub most of the time. I know I left without much of a goodbye, but at least I'm not dead this time, right? I'm not sure where his village is. If I knew I'd tell you so you could come see us if you wanted. I'm guessing you're not very happy with me leaving. You told me how much you hated me going all the time, especially when I chose to stay in Otherworld after Cell killed me. I'm sorry that I have to do this to you again, but please try to understand, Chi. I need to do this. Uub needs me, more than you or Gohan or Goten or even Pan.

You've been great to me these past few years. I think I love you more now than I ever did before. I can't say I like being away from you again, but it's something I have to do. I really want you to know that. I do love you and care about you and the boys, Chi. I'm sorry that I have to leave before Pan's grown up and I wish I could be there when Goten finishes school. I'm so happy that I was able to be with you all when Gohan got married and when Pan was born. I think these past few years were the happiest of my life.

But being dead twice made me realize how short life is. I'm going to die again someday, Chi. I don't know if it'll be sooner or later, but I know it'll happen, and I'm afraid that if it's soon then there won't be anyone strong enough to protect Earth when I'm gone. I thought when Cell killed me that I was helping by staying dead because everything evil up to that point was after me. Buu wasn't, so I guess I can't count on Earth being safe with or without me. But I think Uub can grow even stronger than me, and then I'll know Earth is safe even if I'm not here. That's what I want, Chi. I want you to be safe no matter what. Even if it means leaving you again.

I hate to say it, but I think the choice to leave this time was pretty easy. Gohan's moved out and he has a family of his own now, and Goten doesn't want to train much anymore and I hardly see him anyway because he goes on dates a lot. And, well, I'm not always sure you care if I'm around or not sometimes. We don't talk a lot anymore, and when we do a lot of times you're telling me how much our lives could have been better if I hadn't done the things I did, like staying dead. It hurts when you say things like that, Chi. Don't you see I did it for your own good? I didn't like doing what I did, but I thought it was best. I guess you don't agree. And I don't think you'll agree that I had to leave with Uub. That's part of the reason I left so fast. I didn't want us to argue about it. I hate arguing with you. I hate it when you yell at me and I don't like seeing you hurt. It was easier to leave without much of a goodbye.

I'm sorry it has to be this way. I wish there was a way for me to be with you and train Uub at the same time. But Chi, I promise, as soon as I'm done training him I'll come back home and I'll never, ever leave again no matter what. If you want me back, I guess. I'm guessing you're awful mad at me. I know it's asking a lot for you to forgive me again, but please, Chi, try to understand. I love you and I will come back to you as soon as I can. I just have to make sure the Earth is in good hands first.

I hope to see you again soon. Give my love to Gohan, Videl, Pan, and Goten. Don't be sad about me being gone. I still think of you every day and I miss you.

Goku

Goku stuffed the letter into an envelope and sealed it, rushing out of a small hut to reach the postal worker before he left the village. It didn't say everything he felt, but how could he put his feelings into words? He was excited about training with Uub, but he did want to be with his wife. But in the end, his need for a challenge and a new adventure won out. He felt a little guilty for choosing to live with Uub in his village, knowing he could have used instant transmission to get from home to the boy's village every day. It was easier for him to stay with Uub and not have to confront his wife every morning. He knew she would want him to stay. She would want him to give up training Uub. But he couldn't, and he didn't want to anyway. Uub was the best sparring partner he'd come across in a long time; he was even stronger than Vegeta, or at least he had the potential to be. Shrugging, he illegibly scribbled his home address on the envelope and handed it to the postman that came by Uub's village once a week. He was sure this letter would be delivered. But it wouldn't be because no one could decipher the address he wrote.

…

Chi-Chi honestly wasn't surprised that Goku abruptly left at the World Martial Arts Tournament. After all, he'd been with her for ten years without leaving for longer than a couple days to train in the wilderness or take his sons on a camping trip. They were the ten best years of her life, for she was sure she had her husband back for good after living as a widow for seven years assuming he would be dead forever. Once again fate was on his side and he was returned to her, alive and well, and he stayed with her a long time. But not long enough, in her opinion. Apparently too long in his. He could never settle down and live peacefully, contentedly. No, he was too much of a child inside, always seeking fun somewhere else, wanting to explore the world and train his days away with someone stronger.

She couldn't figure out how he would put some peasant kid above his family. Why would he leave them, _again_? After he said he wouldn't? For Kami's sake, what about Pan? She dearly loved her grandfather, but now he was gone and she might not see him again until she was a grown woman, if even then. No one – including Goku – knew how long it would take to train Uub to become as strong as Buu had been, maybe stronger. Chi-Chi couldn't help thinking it was better when Goku was dead. At least then she knew where he was. At least then she knew he didn't have _much_ of a choice in leaving her. This was different. He was gone somewhere else on the planet and he'd probably forget to ever visit. He was having the time of his life with some kid he didn't even know while she was left at home to see to it that Goten made it through school. What else was there for her? She had a granddaughter to love and spoil now, but that didn't take the place of having a husband at her side.

Goku was not husband material. He never had been. She had been a foolish girl to think she would marry the man of her dreams and live happily ever after just like a fairy tale princess. She was a princess, all right, but not one from a fairy tale. Not one who married her prince charming. Not one who would ever be happy in life. Because her husband was more interested in training than being with her. He thought the world was more important that her. He didn't care about her happiness. He didn't care that he hurt her feelings by leaving. He never cared that his sons needed him, even if they were grown men. And he didn't care that his granddaughter missed him almost as much as she did.

He couldn't leave and just expect everything to be copacetic. Sure, Goku, go away for another decade and act like it didn't hurt anyone. Pretend you were doing good. Go on thinking your choices don't tear your family apart. Chi-Chi crossed her arms over her chest as she thought about her husband, wanting so badly to tell him what was on her mind. It wouldn't matter if she could because she would never get through to him, never make him understand the consequences of his choices.

For the most part, the middle-aged woman was able to deal with his absence. She'd had plenty of practice. Married 21 years and he was gone for nine of them. Over a third of their married life he was dead. What had changed? All that was different was he was alive. But he was still gone, so what did it matter? Obviously he didn't care that much about being with his family. He didn't care about _her_ needs and wants. Did he ever stop to ask her what _she_ thought of him leaving to train with Uub? Did he ever stop to ask her what her opinion was on _any_ of his decisions? No! He didn't care! He was the most spontaneous and foolish man the world had ever seen. And she was cursed to love him, to be married to him. She may as well have been married to a ghost. At least a ghost would stick around…

"That is _it_, Goku," she yelled, her screeching voice echoing through the valley. The scenery was serene, with the sun riding low on the horizon, casting a deep red glow over the lush grass spotted with wildflowers. The wind blew softly through the trees, rustling the emerald green leaves. In the distance she heard a bird singing. Peaceful, quiet. The way she wanted her life to be. Maybe it looked like it was on the outside, but inside there was nothing but tumult. Anger, pain, outrage, shock, betrayal, humiliation, loneliness, hate, love.

"I can't take it anymore! You promised –" her voice broke as the lump in her throat grew. "You promised we'd never be apart again. You said when you came back, when you were given a new life… Goku, how could you do this to me? Why did you lie to me? Weren't you happy?"

She _had_ thought he had matured a little since he was revived a second time. She thought he had learned to value his family more after being separated from them for so long. She wanted to believe that he would stay true to his word and never abandon her and their sons again. How desperately she wanted to believe he had changed. But Goku would never change. He would never settle down. He would never learn to put his family above his own whimsical desires. Not Goku. He had no qualms about leaving his wife and children. He didn't care how much his absence hurt them. He didn't care that his wife was growing old alone.

Oh, she knew she would welcome him home when he finally decided to stop playing with Uub. She knew she would make a big celebratory dinner and allow him back into her bed. No matter how much he hurt her, she couldn't stay mad at him. That was the spell he cast over her. She was in love with him, a child at heart, a terrible husband. And she didn't care. She still counted the days until his return.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own DBGT either. I wouldn't claim it if I did.

* * *

><p>To Chi-Chi,<p>

I know I left without much chance to explain, but if I don't go then the Earth will blow up. I can't let that happen because then you would die. I wish I could have stopped this from happening, but I had no idea what was going on.

Maybe I can find a way to be turned back into a grown-up too. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone, but I know it'll be less than a year because that's all the time I have to save Earth. If we don't find the black star dragon balls by then, the Earth is going to explode. Don't worry, Chi, we'll be alright and we won't let that happen. We'll make it on time.

I bet you're pretty upset that Pan came instead of Goten, aren't you? I didn't know she was on the ship and we didn't have a chance to stop her from launching before we could get her off the ship. Well, I'm sure you've heard from Goten what happened. I didn't want to put her in danger like this, but I promise I'll keep her safe. You can count on it. Everything is going to be alright, so don't worry and don't be mad. I love you and I'll see you soon.

Goku

He hit the send button on the email, only to have an error message pop up and tell him to try again. So he tried again. And the error message reappeared. He tried again. Error message. Again. Error. Goku glowered at the computer screen after failing to get his e-mail to Chi-Chi sent. Finally, he decided to try again later, so he got up and went to the lower deck of the ship to find something to eat, almost instantly forgetting the message never went through.

…

There were few things more mortifying than being a 52 year-old woman married to a child. Of course her husband used to be an adult, but now he wasn't. That was a hard pill to swallow when she saw him for the first time after leaving five years earlier to train Uub. She hoped he would find a way to grow up again while he was in space searching for the black star dragon balls. While she wanted him to stay on Earth with her, even if he was in a child's body, she knew that he had to go. She was furious when she learned that Pan had gone on the excursion rather than Goten, but there was little she could do about it.

At least she trusted Goku to keep their granddaughter safe. That was about the only consolation she had. But that didn't mean she wasn't going to tell him off for letting it happen. She had no doubt Goku somehow could have prevented Pan from launching the ship. She tried not to become too stressed about the situation. They would only be gone a year, probably less. That wasn't so long, was it? It wasn't as if she'd spent the past five years with her husband anyway. What was one more year?

Chi-Chi broke another plate as she scrubbed it a little too hard. Sighing, she dumped it in the trash and picked up another to clean. Seeing the short stack of dishes to wash was almost more depressing than the towering piles of plates and bowls she was used to after years of cooking for saiyans. Gohan and Videl lived in their own home and Goten rarely stopped by to visit her. He was too busy living it up in the city. Loneliness crept in as she gazed out the kitchen window. She saw the same breath-taking panoramic view of the mountains cloaked in a thin fog lit by the morning sun as she did every day, but it was still a small joy she had in her otherwise unhappy life.

He'll be back, she reminded herself. He would be back and then, finally, they would be together. No more excuses. She simply would not let him leave again. She had no idea how she was going to keep him tied down, but she had to try. She was growing older and she was tired of being alone. Surely he would want to have a stable life for a change. One where he could stay home and just be with her, not worrying about saving Earth from some insane threat or another.

She sniffled a little. "Please come home soon, Goku. I miss you."

This would surely be his last adventure, the last time he would leave her. Even if he was in a child's body, didn't he still feel the passage of time? Didn't he still yearn to stay home and relax after a exciting life? Couldn't he be happy with what he had done and leave it at that? He should sit back, take the time to spend with her and their granddaughter. She couldn't bear the thought of him squandering the years away from her as he had done with his sons. Sure, he may have had good reason to leave all those other times, but the excuses were old and worn. He'd trained his successor, so he could retire. After all, he was as old as she was, even if he didn't look it. He was in his fifties too. Old enough to retire from saving the world, old enough to give up martial arts, old enough to stay at home and be content with his wife.

She promised herself that when he got back she was going to make him understand. She was so lonely without him. Did she need him? Yes. Did she want him? Kami, yes! For once in her life, couldn't she have a normal marriage? One where she didn't have to worry about being widowed or abandoned for months or years at a time? What had she done to deserve this? What had she done to make her husband hate her so? Fighting back the tears she reminded herself that this time he really did need to go. She wouldn't trust anyone else to find the black star dragon balls in the time allotted. But would it have been so much to ask for him to stay a few days? He'd been gone for five years, though the whole time he was on the same planet, in the same dimension. He could have at least visited. She felt like she hardly knew him anymore. She knew her husband now less than she did when she married him.

It hurt feeling so distant from her husband. Physically, emotionally. Maybe they never had been on the same plane. She wanted peace and stability, he wanted adventure and challenges. Well, at least he was happy, she thought bitterly. He was probably having the time of his life traveling through space facing who knows what kind of aliens and monsters in his quest to find the dragon balls. He probably never even thought about her. She was starting to wonder if he even remembered she existed. Judging by his quick departure from Earth, he didn't give her a second thought. He never did. What else was new?


	7. Chapter 7

Son Chi-Chi,

This is probably the last time I'll ever get to tell you how much I love you. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try to express it. I know I haven't been there for you over the years. I'm not good at counting, but I think we were married 34 years ago. And, looking back, I wasn't there as much as I should have been. I was gone for a year when I died fighting Raditz, then I was gone for over a year when I went to Namek. I was dead for seven years after the Cell Games, and after spending a great ten years with you, I left to train Uub, which took five years. I left Earth to get the black star dragon balls, which was almost a whole year, and then not even a year later, I had to leave one last time. So that's 15 years we've been married that I wasn't with you.

I always thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I had to leave to keep you and everyone on Earth safe. I see now that I was wrong, Chi-Chi. If I could go back and change what I did, I would, so I could have been with you more. So I could have been with Gohan and Goten more. I wish I could have seen Pan grow, and I wish I could see where their lives take them. But I don't think I'm coming back for a real long time. Shenron said he's taking me away for at least a hundred years. I'm not sure where we're going or what we're going to do, but I had to go. It was the only way to bring everyone back that was killed.

I'm not dead, so if that's anything for you to be happy about, I hope it helps. I don't think I'll be able to visit you, but I'll try to watch over you. I want to be there with you, but I can't be. I'm so mad at myself, Chi-Chi! I shouldn't have left you the way I did all those times. But I can't take it back and make it right. I want more than anything to redo it all and make the right choices this time.

Don't be sad, Chi-Chi. Maybe we'll see each other again someday in Otherworld. Then we really can be together forever. That's all I want, Chi-Chi. You always told me you wanted a happy family, and I did about everything to mess that up for you. I wasn't there. I didn't even meet Goten until he was seven years old. And I left you over and over. Will you ever forgive me? I know I messed up real bad. I should have seen it earlier, but I was too dumb to see I wasn't making the right choices. I could have been with you so many more years than I was. Maybe if I had done something different I would be with you now.

I'm trying not to be sad about leaving this time. I think I'm going to get to train with Shenron and I'll get to see the universe and maybe even other dimensions. We might go to Otherworld and all over. I don't know what's going to happen, but I bet it'll be exciting. I'm not going to forget you, Chi-Chi, but I don't want to be sad. I know you'll be okay without me. There's so much I want to tell you. Things I should have told you when I had the chance. I should have told you how much I love you and how grateful I was for everything. You worked so hard to make food and school the boys and keep the house clean and everything. You're the best wife in the world. I want you to know that. I wish I knew it before.

I don't know how much you'll hate me for leaving you again, and I'm not coming back this time. I bet you want to slap me or yell at me, and I don't blame you. Gosh, I've given you so many reasons to hate me and you never did. Yeah, you yelled a lot whenever I came home after being gone a long time, but you always told me you loved me anyway. I see now you were only mad because I was stupid and hurt you. I'll never be able to make it up to you, and that's what I hate the most about going away with Shenron.

But at the same time I'm happy to go. I'm so tired, Chi-Chi. I don't know how many battles I've fought to save the Earth, but I'm tired of it. Someone else can take over. Vegeta's almost as strong as I am now, and Uub, Goten, Gohan, Trunks, and Pan are all really strong too. I'm sure they'll be able to handle anything that comes, so I'm not worried. You'll be okay. Everyone will be okay.

Tell the kids I love them and I'm proud of them. I hope I'll be able to see them again someday, even if it's in Otherworld. And tell them I'm sorry I had to leave so fast I didn't get to say goodbye. I don't know if they'll understand. Maybe they'll be mad at me too. If they are, they have the right to be. I left them like I left you. It was stupid and wrong. I'm so sorry, Chi-Chi. My biggest regret is not being with you longer.

I want you to be happy. Maybe I can never make you happy the way you wanted, but please don't be sad about me going. I do care about you and I love you so much. I love you all. I'm the one who screwed up. So don't think it's your fault I'm gone, alright? I know you blame yourself a lot, but don't. It was never your fault. It's mine. I'll be with you in spirit wherever you go, Chi-Chi. Don't ever forget that.

Yours forever,  
>Goku<p>

…

Chi-Chi son folded up the letter along its worn creases and held it close to her heart, a single tear trickling down her wrinkled cheek. So many years ago he left her. She had hoped he was wrong, that he would come back one last time so she could see him before she died. But that hope was gone. She smoothed the loose white hairs back from her face and lay down in bed, the letter still held near her heart. Goku's last words to her. She didn't know how the letter reached her, but she found it on her pillow not long after Goku disappeared with Shenron. And she had read it many times every day since then. She still smiled at the child-like handwriting, but her heart felt heavy as loneliness overwhelmed her. He said he would be with her, but she couldn't feel his presence. She didn't believe he really watched over her. He was probably too busy training wherever he was.

She wasn't bitter about it, not anymore. It didn't take her long to get over his last disappearance. In a way, she didn't care anymore. That was just Goku and she had to accept it. She was weary from grieving over the years. She wasn't happy about him being gone, and she would never truly feel at peace in his absence, but she wasn't upset anymore. What was there to be upset about? This was the life of Son Chi-Chi. Abandoned, deserted, neglected, ignored, forgotten. Her children and grandchildren almost never stopped by for a visit and her husband had been gone for over thirty years. She considered herself a widow even if he technically wasn't dead this time. He may as well have been.

Her heart was weak; she knew it wouldn't be long before she was finally welcomed in death's silent embrace. She had been dead before once. Not for very long, but long enough to know it wasn't so bad being dead. She would be judged by King Yemma and then she would be sent either to heaven or hell. And, since she was sent to heaven last time, she didn't fear her judgment. Maybe there she could finally find true happiness. She could finally be content and at peace. Goku wouldn't be there, but she wouldn't be alone. Her father would be there, and in time so would her sons and daughters-in-law and grandchildren. She would be surrounded by her family for eternity, living their afterlife in joy. No more worries, no more burdens, no more pain.

Chi-Chi pulled her hand-sewn quilt up to her chin, hiding from the cold, and turned onto her side to face away from the vacant half of her bed. The half that had been empty for many, many years. She had a fulfilling enough life, she figured. She had two successful sons who now had their own families. Her grandchildren were growing up and starting families of their own, and she had one beautiful great-granddaughter. She did well for having to raise her boys as a single mother half the time. Over the years she learned to put away her complaints. Goku might never know she had forgiven him, but it lightened her heart when she did. She could never hate her dear husband. She loved him, and she would continue to love him for eternity.

It wasn't long before Chi-Chi fell asleep, the letter now tucked safely under her pillow where she kept it every night. She had it memorized. Every word, every scribble, crease, and fold committed to memory. The paper was yellowed and soft from wear, but she still read it. Again and again she read it. And each time she did, it was as if a small part of her husband was with her for a moment, holding her in his strong arms, kissing her forehead, shielding her from the harsh world.

That night Chi-Chi passed on to Otherworld. Instead of waking up in her cold, dark bedroom, she opened her eyes to find herself in a long line of spirits waiting to see King Yemma. The welcome station was far away, but the line was moving quickly and soon she would stand in front of his enormous desk and be sent above or below. She looked around at all the amber-colored clouds surrounding the pathway, wondering where in Otherworld her husband was. Assuming he was in Otherworld. Maybe he wasn't. She would probably never know. Even if he was, he wouldn't be in heaven. He'd be with King Kai or Grand Kai or whoever, probably.

Only fifteen minutes later she found herself at the foot of the desk, looking up at the giant god who would either damn her or grant her entry to heaven. His rubber stamp slammed down on the paper, presumably a record of her life.

"Above."

Her heart leaped with relief. Though she had never thought she would be condemned to hell, there was always the chance. She had been such an angry, terrible wife and mother at times. Contemptuous, fretful, overbearing, and argumentative. But she did it with the best intention, always wanting the best for her family. All she wanted was for them to have good lives, even if she would never have one herself.

Chi-Chi nodded her thanks to King Yemma and went to her right where she saw an ogre directing her to go. She went through the door to the plane that would take her to heaven, the same one she had ridden many years ago when she was killed by Majin Buu. She paused, gasping, when she saw someone she hadn't expecting standing under the plane, a goofy grin spread across his ever-youthful face and a bouquet of flowers held in his hand.

"Goku?" she whispered. For a brief moment she felt rage burning in her chest, but it almost immediately disappeared. There was no sense being angry anymore. What was done in the past could not be helped, and there was no sense screaming and yelling about it now. Rather than focusing on the hurt he caused her over the years, she decided to focus only on the happiness he brought her.

"It's me, Chi," he said, walking up to her and handing her the flowers. She was surprised when she could hold them in her hand. She wasn't quite corporeal, but she had form now, not just a white cloud of spirit. Her hands looked so smooth, her knuckles no longer swollen with arthritis, her skin pale as porcelain and clear of liver spots.

"But how?"

He laughed, rubbing the back of his head. The same gesture she had seen countless times before. So simple, so childish, something she missed horribly and hadn't realized it. "I felt it when you came to Otherworld. So I used instant transmission to get here. I wanted to see you before you went to heaven."

"Oh, Goku!" Chi-Chi dropped the flowers he'd given her and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him so tightly she might have killed him if he were mortal.

"I guess you're not mad at me?"

She sniffled, fighting back the tears of joy so she could see her husband clearly. She smiled, then laughed at the absurdity of his question. "Why would I be mad at you?"

He decided not to press the issue; instead, he wrapped his arms around her slim waist and held her close, burying his face in her silky black hair. "I love you, Chi-Chi."

"I love you too, Goku." She kissed him softly. "Don't you ever leave me again. Please?"

He smiled and rested his forehead against hers. "I promise, Chich. I'll be with you forever." Could she believe him? Experience told her no, but his eyes told her yes. She finally let the tears fall as she kissed him again.


End file.
